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Pumkin
Pumkin (stylized as Pµmkin in-game) is a Suss administrator, Sentinel, and Chief Executive Officer of Poontech Inc. He is currently one of the oldest (in terms of playtime) active Suss players and has contributed to the official Suss History books. Pumkin is the only admin to have been demoted and repromoted afterward. Pumkin was an avid PAC utilizer in 2012-2013 and perhaps even an extreme mingebag, but upon being introduced to E2 by one of Suss's sentinels he expeditiously became affixed and with almost 6000 hours in Garry's Mod, eventually an adept utilizer of Expression 2 and Wiremod. Pumkin is well-versed in the art of Prop Killing withal, concretely with Vans. He can be described as a user of the Lawful Evil alignment and the final boss of Suss given his immense experience with minging, prop killing, prop pushing, exploits, Expression 2, wiremod, glitches, and tendencies towards cruel and unusual (but fair and justifiable) punishments against loathsome users. Speculations of his real life age have been made ranging between 17-19 years old. However, he has confirmed that he is in fact eleven years old. This confirmation led to several high-ranking Suss users apparently expressing genuine concern for his mental wellbeing, as these users did not receive the reaction they expected when they verbally assaulted him. (Devastated by crippling minge Expression 2). In Game Pumkin has a strawberry-red charred corpse as a playermodel. He can infrequently be optically discerned adorned with a PAC displaying censored "questionable" content that Ganjasaurus X deems controvertible. Customarily, he is visually perceived perfervidly catapulting Vans at things out of vapidity, or fiercely drilling into an Expression 2 project which he consummates in a few hours afore discarding it and never gracing it with his presence again. One example of this is a plenarily functional Chess expression complete with animations he "shat out in a couple of hours". He has elected to refrain from spawning it again as "no one will play anyway." Pumkin additionally mitigates users' ability to play on the server rather benevolently with a low tolerance for Autistic users and RDMers. Having conceived & exhausted every single possible exploit and crash method available to users in Garry's Mod already, he is able to expeditiously and efficiently single out people seeking to crash/lag the server with physics exploits or maleficent Expression 2 codes, often mortifying and shaming them for their substandard endeavor afore distributing a lengthy ostracization (week ban hammer). Relationships Pumkin loathes users with Autism. This includes George Ravenholm, whom he believes to be a putrescent, inept heap of hazardous refuse with "very low mathematical and expressional abilities". His verification of the length of his attendance of Earth's revolutions around the Sun - eleven - has led to user George Ravenholm expressing direful projections of his insecurity, and when he feels particularly threatened, he takes to Steam Chat to deliver a poignant plea for mercy as his undecimally-lengthened lifespan invalidates using his low, but higher than Pumkin's age as an excuse for his heavily Autistic conduction of himself. Cringeworthily, he claims that Pumkin is too smart to be eleven years old and often spends time trying to convince himself that this is not the case by bombarding Pumkin with poorly-executed impromptu cycles of psychoanalytical catharsis in order to coax out behaviour unlike that of an eleven year old's, yet to no avail as the only standards to an eleven year old's cognitive ability that George Ravenholm is willing to accept are the ones submitted by he himself, which conveniently conform to his unfaltering passion to absolve Pumkin of his claims. Pumkin has a very proximate relationship with Jaikant Shikre. It is surmised they are profound acquaintances as they share homogenous vernacular and musical predilections. Pumkin has relucted to comment on his disappearance. He was also good friends with mysterious user Zantedeschi, but will not reveal any information regarding his background. Achievements Pumking calculated his own mathematical constant known as Pumkin Pi, which is an irrational number that can be used to generate the memetic integer '420'. He is also the proud founder of Poontech Inc., and the doctor of their logo. Pumkin is the first Sentinel of Suss 2.0. Pumkin's favourite things to build are mechs. He finds them bittersweet in the sense that they are often extremely difficult, but rewarding. He has almost 6000 hours in Garry's Mod. Quotes Pumkin's peers have relucted from quoting him on the heterogenous drivel that he promulgates through the server's chat on a regular basis. Therefore, he has resigned to quoting himself like the pathetic pile of human rubble that he is. "I have been sitting upon this web page for approximately thirty minutes trying to disseminate how unfathomably abysmal this assemblage of putrescence is, yet with no such luck. However, the fact such a perfervid malefaction can even appertain to Steam without being instantly trounced by its moderators has invigorated me with an unfaltering intension to assuage the Steam Workshop of this overwhelmingly appalling obscenity. Consider yourself spared from my eloquent articulations - designed to provide an in-depth analysis of how vehemently bad your refuse heap of a collection is; for I have elected to instead report this detritus for contravening every single protocol clearly postulated by the Steam Subscriber Agreement." ~ '''Pumkin on Suss's workshop collection.' ''"I cannot believe how incredibly autistic you are. I mean rock-hard autistic. Dehydrated-rock-hard autistic. Autism so autistic that it goes way beyond the autism we know into a whole different dimension of autistic. You are trans-autistic autistic. Meta-autistic. Autism collapsed on itself so far; that even the autrons have collapsed. Autism made so dense that no intellect can escape. A singularity of autism. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury autism. You emit more autism in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar autistic. You have to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this autistic. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of autistic. Some pure essence of a autistic so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of autism for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel." ~ Pumkin in reference to people who continously gaze upon his Expression 2 chips. "War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. Its final lesson is carved deep in my psyche. That this world, and all of its people, are diseased. Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns of something even greater: Autism, The DNA of the soul." ~ A striking realization made by Pumkin. Trivia - Pumkin often engages in chastising other players, often attempting to pull apart their motives and inner thoughts in order to produce a truly vaporizing roast and trounce their autistic behaviours. - Despite what he believes, his pretentious, egotistical, and unwarranted tendencies to vindictively castigate other players do not automatically concede the veneration and reverence of other Suss users. Albeit his cathartic lambasting sessions provide paltry regalement for the server, the woeful authenticity abaft the narcissistic, zealous deconstruction of the hapless yet remissible parapraxes of his interlocutors is that he is sat crudely upon his chair hunched over his keyboard, desperately supplicating "one fourty" to himself and beginning to indite his aggrandized, counterproductive, useless prolixity at a higher speed whenever his dilapidated self-esteem commences to falter; he is pellucidly in no position to engage in such berating. He will intermittently pause as he furiously taps away at his keyboard - his virtual quasi-corpus cavernosum enlargement apparatus and conversely, his very life support - to introspectively engender an authentically opulent conglomerate of chryselephantine lexical sublimity and thus elevate himself above others from a literal standpoint, further innervating his arrogance - which he hopes to be fully clandestine and invisible behind his fictitious unperturbed complexion - whilst he perpetuates the reprimanding of others under the umbrageous delusion that he appears perspicacious and esteemed rather than snobbish and narcissistic. Pumkin's unsolicited self-lambasting is his way of reassuring others that he is not as full of himself as he appears and is somewhat aware of all of his abhorrent, detestable characteristics which he often tries to suppress by following up with tongue-in-cheek bouts of self-loathing; this has only proven to delineate that he shows no interest in ameliorating his vitriolic etiquette and would rather continue pitifully writhing at the bottom of his loathsome pit of pompousness which he only delves deeper into upon every instance he would precipitate a depressingly disgracious endeavor to claw his way out. His lack of pragmatism, altruism, and raw sanity is what makes him the tragic yet laughable anagnorisis of Suss's admin history. Irrelevant, Autistic Peculiarities '-This entire section - omitting this entry - was written by George Ravenholm. It will be archived to suffice as evidence for his meager attempts at character assassination as well as an exhibit of his sub-par diction and grammar. Comments made by Pumkin regarding these entries will be shown in italics.' - Pumkin's name originates from the Hungry Pumkin game. (No.) - Pumkin loves to express his attraction of gay porn (What the fuck?), and as well as Frisk and Chara undertail rule 34. - Pumkin is a new zealander, and he claims to have a horrUble accent, therefore he is unable to properly pronounce the phrase "fish and chips". (Wtf?) - Pumkin is quite intelligent, and uses fancy words in his serious comments and claims that he gained his great mathematical intelligence from "boredom reading" (Serious Suckup | Insecurity Intensifies) - Pumkin hates teaching as well as other users (mainly Autists) surrounding him in awe of what he calls "boring" expressions. (This sentence is barely readable.) __FORCETOC__